OCCUPY SOMETHING

"Occupy Wall Street" has gotten a lot of coverage lately on TV and in newspapers. As far as I can tell it is directed at people who make lots of money. The idea seems to be that the money makers have done something wrong, and should give the money back. To someone. Not sure who.

If they've done something wrong, I'm all for making them give the money back. So far, the "OCCUPY" movement has been confused on the subject of what they are protesting and what they want done, but it makes good TV.

Anyway, the thought occurred to me that I could adapt this model for other things that actually aggravate me, rather than people working and making money. For instance, how about

OCCUPY GOVERNMENT OVERSPENDING

It bugs me and I don't particularly understand it. So maybe the Occupy People could give me one day a week on this problem. That's all I'm asking for. They can spend the other 6 days at Wall Street.

OCCUPY BLACKBERRIES

These things bug me. I don't know why; they just do. I have one for work, and I hate it. I have no real understanding of the social issues here, but the great thing about the "OCCUPY" movement is that you don't have to understand the issues to "OCCUPY." You just do it, and let everyone know you are peeved.

OCCUPY ENVY

This is the flip side of "Occupy Wall Street," which is essentially a protest against greed. Envy is greed's miserable twin brother. If greed is Wall Street's mortal sin, envy is the Progressive Movement's mortal sin. So while we are at it,

OCCUPY THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS

Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, Sloth. Deal with them and you've really accomplished something. Ignore them and you die. Simple, really.


I checked with Mrs. Eternal Optimist just now. She adds the following:

OCCUPY LAUNDRY

Laundry is so frustrating. Always there, always waiting, always a problem, never done. She doesn't feel bad about it, but if the Occupy Folks can solve this one, more power to them.

OCCUPY SCREAMING OBSCENE GESTURING MANIAC BIG COLDTOWN DRIVERS

Mrs. Optimist and I would much prefer the Occupy People get after this problem than after Wall Street. Mrs. Optimist and I do not have much in the way of "investments," other than in the Kingdom of Heaven, where Mrs. Optimist has a substantial 401K, what with the 5 "C" sections and pangs of motherhood and child-rearing. The rate of interest is quite appealing in heaven, and the pension is impervious to waste, fraud, and abuse.

If the Occupy People can get after crazy BCT drivers and the Seven Deadly Sins it would be quite helpful for us, whereas the whole Wall Street thing leaves us entirely disinterested and confused.

I hope this helps. Got to go right now. Mrs. EO has decided to watch another episode of "Foyle's War," a nifty BBC series.