CELEBRITY NEWS!

I just got done glancing through a couple of popular magazines that cover celebrities.  Call them "WEEPLE." Some celebrity news from the pages of WEEPLE:

• Two voluptuous sisters are both disappointed in their wealthy but disinterested male consorts, one a basketball player, the other a rapper.  One of sisters, with a new baby, is having trouble with her weight.

Volptuous sister and disinterested consort.

• One 20-year old starlet has been exposing herself in public lately.  She is apparently crushed over a boy-friend who recently left her, and she has decided that public lasciviousness is the way to get over her heartbreak.

Working through issues.

• A not-so-famous former TV star has announced that, at age 50, he is ready to meet "Mrs. Right," get married and have children.

• The 18-year old half-sister of an alcoholic, drug-addicted and criminal 20-something starlet has just had extensive plastic surgery to look more like her troubled, beautiful half-sister.  Their father has ditched both of their mothers.

I want to be like my sister.

• A TV star wore a dress so low-cut that one of her breasts popped out unexpectedly during a formal event.

• A 50-year old movie star was angered to meet her 35-year old ex-husband, accompanied by his new 30-year old girlfriend, at a Kabbalah function.  She introduced him to Kabbalah.

People wonder why I follow Christ. I think from now on I will start by having them read WEEPLE.  That should explain it.

WEEPLE expresses a deep truth about human beings - we are sad and have a hard time fulfilling our needs. I think we read WEEPLE because it makes us feel good, since we are not THAT messed up, but what's with that?   I know my heart.  If I had the money and the lack of boundaries that money brings, I could easily be on the cover of WEEPLE.

Easily.

I thank God for my lack of money and good looks.