Wednesday, December 29, 2010


I just saw a T.V. news story about the manatees freezing to death off the Florida coast. Apparently Florida has required its power companies to dump warm water into the ocean, at some minimal extra expense to taxpayers, to give the manatees a refuge from the unusually cold water. I applaud this effort to save an endangered species from the effects of the cold weather.

Manatee in Better Times.

I found an article on the subject. The same problem cropped up last winter.

Florida, and much of the Southeast, are experiencing an extremely cold winter. Like last winter. India is having freezing weather, too. Which, what's that about?

Europe was way cold last winter. Northern Europe has been hammered again this year.

It is apparently very tricky figuring out if it will be cold in Europe and the U.S. Siberian snow fall has a lot to do with it, but it is hard to predict whether Siberia will have a big snow fall or not. If they do, the Artic gets warmer and pushes cold weather south on us. So polar bears get stranded on ice floes, while manatees die. Weather scientists have a hard time getting this one right. See this interesting Washington Post article.

I called 9-1-1 about all this. They already have someone responding. Still, I felt good about taking some responsibility.

My fervent hope is that global climate change (formerly global warming) will hit Big Cold Town (BCT) right about when I move back there in a few months. The plan is that Mrs. Optimist and I will not need to move south when we retire. Instead, the south will retire toward us.

At least that's what I tell myself. So far, BCT's been smacked with a big Christmas blizzard. Ditto last winter, when BCT got crushed all winter long.

The Huffington Post bloggers tell us that the freezing Manatees are due entirely to President Obama's craven extension of the Bush tax cuts, which have enriched Republicans by allowing them to keep their own money.

Arianna Huffington (formerly married to rich
Republican, now big-time liberal blog host)

Rich old Republicans have cold hearts, which grow much bigger and colder when they get to keep their own money. Since so many rich old Republicans live near the Florida coast, it is obvious that their increasingly wealthy and frigid hearts have lowered the water temperatures, imperiling the manatees.

The article finishes by calling for a criminal prosecution of Dick Cheney for crimes against manateekind. Leaving manatees in water less than 68 degrees Fahrenheit is a violation of the Geneva Convention, and Dick was in charge of manatees and stingrays during the Bush Administration.

(By the way, the Huffington reported no such thing. I made all this up on my own. I just like to say the word "Huffington." Makes me think of sniffing glue. But that's another story.)

So I'll be busy the next few days, following the freezing India story, as well as the chill manatee story. In the meantime I will figure out if "Shotgun" Dick Cheney is to blame for global warmcooling, or wobal glorming.

Or something.

Is it chilly in here or is that just me? Excuse me, I've got to go turn the heat up.


  1. I'd like a double of whatever you're having..... please make mine warm. I'm definitely a "summer" not a "winter".
    Need more Son.

  2. Personally, I prefer wobalglorming. You do have a way with words. Even Sarah Palin didn't think of that one!

  3. Keep a bottle of cognac and a bottle of Maker's Mark at the ready. One must be well fortified when facing adversities.