Saturday, May 7, 2011


I see the news started calling Osama "Usama" the other day, at approximately the same hour our Chief Executive had Osama assassinated. Or is that Ussassinated?

Does this mean we were hunting the wrong guy the whole time and we finally got him because we figured out how to spell his name? DO NOT TELL ME he was in our phone book and we just missed him because we were looking under “O.”

Maybe this means that all Arabic names that start in "O" have to be be changed to "U" now? Have we just missed that until now?

Or is it a rule just for historically awful people?
Udolf Hitler? Useph Stalin? Uttila the Hun? Is that how it’s going to be?

The alternate spelling, Usama, has been around for a long time. I don’t understand why we just picked up on it the weekend we had him whacked. As far as I know there is no International Court of Foreign Name Spellings that decides these things. There is no "right" way to spell it, except in Arabic. Just pick a spelling and stick with it. Same with Gadhafi/Qaddafi/Khadafhi.

And what is it with UBL? Is this the cutesy future of villain-hood? UBL sounds like some sad sack emo band, or maybe an internet acronym. I prefer my evil people with three names, the good old American way. Lee Harvey Oswald. James Earl Ray. John Wilkes Booth. Osama Bin Laden.

Thats all Im talking about.


  1. In fact, if they have three names, you KNOW they're bad. Just save time and get rid of them.

    Unless they're a girl, in which case they illustrated and/or wrote children's books and are no threat.

  2. I never noticed that about women authors! This is a profound comment on the essential differences between men and women. Mass murder vs. Louisa May Alcott. Wow!

  3. Concerned readers commented:


    The implications of this are far reaching. There is Ulexander the Great and Ulius Ceasar also to consider. Who knows where this might lead to?

    I've often wondered why cities/countries aren't just called what they are called. Who decided to change the name, and then we're all OK with that ?
    Venezia = Venice
    Turkiye = Turkey
    Firenze = Florence
    Napoli = Naples

    I almost missed a flight one time because the departures board in Istanbul airport listed London as "Londre", as do several other airports I've been to. Just sayin'

    As for the Usama thing, I think we should all swap vowels, just for kicks.
    Ur frand, Dive