SLOGANEERING

Soon it will be an election year. President Obama has launched into campaign mode. Republicans are fighting about who will challenge him next November.

Eternal Optimist thought he should try his hand at sloganeering, which looks like fun.

I am at a distinct disadvantage, since I did not go to Brown or Columbia or the Che Guevara School of Political Sloganeering, where people get advanced degrees in Ultimate Frisbee and Disgust For 'Merica. Nevertheless, it is America, and that means I don't have to be an expert to try stuff.

I thought I would practice with some slogans I've already seen.

REPUBLICANS WANT TO THROW GRANDMA OUT ON THE STREET.

The problem is that this statement is false. While there are no doubt Republicans who hate grandmothers, I suspect there are not many of them. A partly true statement is a false statement.

DEMOCRATS WANT TO BANKRUPT AMERICA.

False again. I'm pretty sure there are Democrats that want America to go bankrupt, but that doesn't make the slogan true.

This got me to thinking - why do all slogans have to be cutesy lies? How about slogans that are painfully accurate? Like this one:

WE DO NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY ECONOMIES GO HAYWIRE.

Or this one:

WE GENERALLY DESERVE THE POLITICIANS WE ELECT.

How about this one?

TOLERANCE CAN BE AN UNMITIGATED DISASTER.

Here are some more:

THE "ROOT CAUSE" OF CRIME IS HUMAN EVIL.

POVERTY CAN BE GOOD FOR YOU.

SOME CORPORAL PUNISHMENT IS HEALTHY AND NECESSARY.

PERSONAL MORALITY RESULTS IN A BETTER SOCIETY.

I think I better copyright these before someone steals them.